A sharp gasp escaped Jack’s lips as his eyes swept over the
spring he stumbled upon. So it’s all
true, he thought, it’s all really true. He had grown up on stories of the
spring, and the harp that had always been there. His mother told him that the
harp kept the spring alive, and enchanted its waters. She told him that this spring
was where the myth of the Fountain of Youth originated. He didn’t doubt that-
the spring was beautiful, and judging by the size of the trees, they were here
for a very long time. He took a step towards the water, but stopped dead in his
track when one of the bushes started moving.
A man- one that couldn’t have been older than eighteen-
stepped out. His curly ginger hair was slightly shaggy, his torso bare, and his
legs covered by fur. Jack rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands before getting
a better look at the curly haired man. His legs weren’t covered by fur- he had goat legs. That’s a satyr, his mind
whispered, half goat and half man.
Laughter sounded from around him as the satyr approached the
harp, but he seemed unfazed. Jack watched with awe as a girl appeared to step
out of a tree. Three more girls appeared from the tree line as Jack watched,
but his eyes soon wandered onto the water. Three girls appeared from the depths
of the water, their skins various shades of grey. Two girls had blue hair while
one had pure white. Jack wasn’t sure what to think of the unfolding scene in
front of him, and could only stare in wonder.
The girls that appeared from the trees had various skin
tones- some the color of bark, and some that resembled the white ash wood that
made up his mother’s kitchen table.
“You’re not very good at playing hide-n-seek, Nolan,” One of
the girls that had appeared from a tree playfully chided. The one she called ‘Nolan’
simply chuckled as he gently tapped her nose.
“Good thing I wasn’t playing, young one,” He told her
softly.
“’Young one’?” She said distastefully as her nose scrunched
up, “I’m three hundred and seventeen, my good sir!” This caused laughter to
escape those around her.
“That’s young for us, Rowan,” said a girl from her left. She
swung an arm around the girl’s- Rowan’s- shoulder. Rowan’s fair skin stood
apart from the other girl’s darker complexion. Rowan pulled away with a small
pout on her face as she tucked a red curl behind her ear, and joy lit up her
brown eyes.
“Then what are we waiting for? None of you are getting any
younger,” She said, and a smile grew pulled up the corners of her lips.
Laughter sounded through them again at her words, and they all gathered around
the harp.
Jack watched in fascination as Nolan sat down, and slowly
begun to play a beautiful tune. Jack didn’t recognize it, but all of the girls
did. He watched as they held onto one anothers' hands, their bodies slowly
swaying before they spun in circles. His eyes widened when the spring begun to
glow brighter- as if there was a miniature sun at the bottom. The sight stunned
him, and he moved to get a better look. As he moved, he accidentally stepped
directly on a twig. Rowan flinched as the snapping sound reached her ears, and
all of their eyes immediately focused on Jack. Nolan stopped playing his music,
and the spring stopped glowing as well. The girls in the water huddled closer
to shore as the ones who stepped out of the trees crowded behind Nolan. He
stood tall as his eyes narrowed on Jack, he stepped forward as if protecting
the girls behind him.
“What do you think you’re doing here?”
You ended up working in the line from the book after all! You set the scene here well with rich, descriptive detail and dialogue that feels natural and advances the action. I especially like the descriptor at the end of this line: "some the color of bark, and some that resembled the white ash wood that made up his mother’s kitchen table." You're a good storyteller and I envy your imagination. Thanks, Alexis!
ReplyDeleteThis is just, simply put, amazing! I can't even describe the feeling this gave me.
ReplyDelete